Written by Tammy Machmali
"Nothing that others do is because of you. Everything is because of themselves." - Don Miguel Ruiz, the author of "The Four Agreements.
Ever felt like someone else's actions were a weight on your shoulders, making you question your own worth? I sure have. And then, out of the blue, someone dropped a gem on me: "Nothing that others do is because of you. Everything is because of themselves."
Fast forward a bit, a friend tosses this book, "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz, my way. Sat on my shelf for ages, gathering dust, until a workshop came along. Now, imagine my surprise when the words in that book shook me up and rewired my brain.
I started thinking, how many times have I let someone else's drama become my own? How often did I carry the weight of their choices on my shoulders? Turns out, not everything is about me. People do their thing because of their own deal, not because I'm the star of their show.
So, here's a question for you: Ever let someone else's circus make you feel like the clown? What if I told you there's a way to drop that act and find a whole lot of freedom in the process? Because, my friend, it's true.
Picture this: our world, a bit like a sci-fi blockbuster, a matrix of labels, concepts, and beliefs shaping our reality. It's like we're born into this illusionary dream, handed a script we didn't even know we were signing up for. Society throws norms and self-made boundaries at us, and bam—we're stuck in a cycle of suffering, both for ourselves and everyone around us.
The Awakening Process:
Don Miguel Ruiz proposes a path to awakening—a journey marked by three essential skills: awareness, forgiveness, and action. These skills pave the way for a profound shift in consciousness, allowing us to dismantle the illusions that bind us. It's like a recipe for shaking up your consciousness and breaking free from the illusions that got you wrapped up.
Awareness - Seeing the Dream- Illusion
The first step toward freedom involves seeing the dream and its illusions for what they are. Reading and understanding the truths revealed in "The Four Agreements" lay the foundation for this awareness. Yet, maintaining this heightened state is an ongoing practice, a gateway to true enlightenment.
Imagine waking up, not just from a good nap, but from the dream we've been living. Step one? Seeing the illusions for what they are. "The Four Agreements" spills the beans, laying the groundwork for this awareness. But here's the kicker—it's not a one-time thing. You gotta keep that awareness on a leash, a constant practice, your ticket to true enlightenment.
Forgiveness - Accepting the Dream:
With awareness comes forgiveness—a profound acceptance of the consequences of the illusions, both within ourselves and others. Forgiving ourselves for the suffering caused by our delusions and extending that forgiveness to others is the key to universal love, lifting the burdens we may have long carried.
Now, It's not just about saying sorry; it's about accepting the consequences of those illusions, in ourselves and others. Forgive yourself for dragging around that heavy baggage and toss that forgiveness mix on others too. It's the secret sauce for universal love, lifting the weight you've been carrying for way too long.
Action - Redesigning Your Reality:
Forgiveness opens the door to action—using the newfound space, energy, and power to reshape our reality.
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
Don Miguel Ruiz introduces four agreements as tools for this transformation:
"Be impeccable with your word":
Unleash the superpower of words by speaking with intention and authenticity. Words wield incredible strength, akin to superhero powers. Channel them for good—choose expressions of love, support, and encouragement over negativity. Uphold your promises, both to yourself and others, to bolster self-confidence and elevate your self-esteem. Your words are more than just sounds; they're a force for positivity and personal empowerment.
"Don't take anything personally":
Acknowledge that others' words and actions are born from their own illusions, not a measure of your worth. Their words and actions? They're starring in their own movie, not yours. Refuse to let their drama become your drama. Remind yourself that, most of the time, their actions and words are about their internal world, not yours. Gain trust in yourself, liberate your focus from external chatter, and embrace the tremendous freedom that comes when you choose not to take anything personally. "There's a tremendous amount of freedom that comes to you when you don't take anything personally."
"Don't make assumptions":
Rise above baseless assumptions by challenging them and fostering open communication to prevent misunderstandings. This approach not only cultivates stronger relationships but also reduces conflicts and unnecessary pain. Remember, assumptions can lead to... well, you know the saying. Challenge those assumptions, opt for open communication, and sidestep the unnecessary drama. If something isn't clear, ask questions for clarification instead of spinning an imaginary tale that could escalate into unnecessary trauma.
"Always do your best":
Dwell in the present moment, giving your best under current circumstances without comparing yourself to the past. Live in the now, pour your energy into the present, and don't fret if today's best doesn't match yesterday's. It's a celebration of progress.
This principle will illuminate your limits and guide you towards living fully. You'll discover that you no longer need to be a victim or blame others for your suffering. Release guilt and shame associated with unmet expectations because, when you do your best, you feel good about yourself and your actions. Learn to gauge your energy, recognizing that circumstances change, evolve, and the definition of your best may shift with time.
Remember “The Four Agreements" is a treasure trove of wisdom.
Embracing "The Four Agreements" isn't just a thing; it's a journey to authenticity, self-discovery, and freedom. It's a map to break free from the illusions tying us down, letting us live fully in the present. As Don Miguel Ruiz calls us to wake up from the dream, we find the power to drop the baggage, paving our way to a life filled with miracles, authenticity, and happiness. And let me tell you, that's one journey worth taking.
If you're curious to dive deeper into these strategies or share your thoughts, reach out to me contact. Let's make 2024 a year of unconditional love, courage and success, advancing toward your vision and goals one action at a time.
I'd love to help you get started: To assist you on this journey, I've prepared a Free workbook on 26 Ways to Release Mental & Emotional Baggage In Less Than 5 Minutes A day.
Wishing you a day filled with small steps towards a healthier, happier you!
My sincere hope is that you discover meaningful insights within these words, as many others have. If you have any questions or thoughts, please don't hesitate to contact me.
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