Written by Tammy Machmali
What is happiness? It's a question that has been around for ages, making us stop and wonder. In today's world, we often see happiness through fancy pictures and carefully chosen posts on social media. But what's the real deal with this tricky emotion? Many folks ask me how to find happiness, and it's not an easy answer. Happiness means different things to different people, and our culture shapes how we see it.
Usually, we think of happiness as a constant flow of super happy feelings. But let's be real – expecting to be over-the-moon happy all the time is kinda unrealistic. Some folks even stress out when they're not feeling happy because of mixed messages from social media and the world around them.
Here's what I believe: Happiness isn't something that just happens to us. Nope, we need to take action to bring it into our lives. The dictionary says happiness is "The state of being happy; an emotional state with feelings of joy, satisfaction, contentment, and fulfillment. It's often tied to feeling good about life."
Don't forget, everyone's journey to happiness is unique. It's crucial to focus on things that really matter to you and match your dreams.
Good news – happiness is totally within reach! I've got five simple steps to share with you. They're not just random ideas; they're backed by research and a bit of wisdom. Trust me, they can work for you too if you give them a shot.
These steps are like a well-crafted roadmap to guide you toward a life that's more joyful and easygoing. Drawing from principles associated with positive psychology and well-being, these steps align with various psychological approaches and therapeutic practices. They emphasize the importance of engaging in activities you love, avoiding unnecessary stress, taking control of what you can, accepting what you can't change, and cultivating a positive mindset. While not attributed to a single person, scholars and practitioners in the field of positive psychology, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) have contributed to the development and promotion of these concepts. So, let's dive into these principles because we're about to explore some tips that might just be the keys to a happier, more content you.
Ready to get started on this journey to a brighter and more satisfying life?
Let’s get into the five Steps of happiness.
Step 1: Enjoy and Engage in What You Love
Research in positive psychology, led by Martin Seligman, emphasizes the importance of engaging in activities that bring joy. Pursuing hobbies and interests that align with your values activates the brain's reward system, releasing neurotransmitters like dopamine and fostering a sense of accomplishment.
How to Implement:
Identify activities or hobbies that genuinely bring you joy and make time for them regularly. Whether it's painting, hiking, or playing a musical instrument, prioritizing activities you love contributes to a happier mindset. For instance, if you love spending time outdoors, plan regular nature walks or weekend hiking trips. These activities not only align with your interests but also promote a sense of well-being and happiness.
Step 2: Avoid Doing What You Don't Love
A study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology suggests that avoiding tasks or situations that evoke negative emotions can contribute to overall well-being. This aligns with the concept of "volitional avoidance," where choosing not to engage in unpleasant activities can lead to a more positive emotional state and less resentment, anger, and discontent.
How to Implement:
Evaluate your daily tasks and responsibilities. Identify activities that consistently bring you discomfort or stress, and seek alternatives or delegate when possible. For example, if you dread a particular household chore, consider hiring help or delegating the task to someone else. This small change can free up time for activities you enjoy, enhancing your overall happiness.
Step 3: If You Don't Like Something and Can't Avoid It, Change It
Research in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) supports the idea that changing one's perspective and taking proactive steps to modify aspects of life can lead to improved mental well-being. By addressing and modifying challenging situations, individuals can experience a positive impact on their overall happiness.
How to Implement:
Identify specific aspects of your life causing dissatisfaction. Develop a plan to address and change these aspects where possible, taking small steps towards improvement. For example, if your daily commute is a source of stress, explore alternative routes, consider carpooling, or use the time to listen to enjoyable podcasts. Taking control and making positive changes in your routine can contribute to increased happiness.
Step 4: If You Don't Like Doing Something, and Can't Avoid or Change It, Accept It
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) suggests that accepting certain aspects of life without unnecessary resistance can lead to greater psychological flexibility and well-being. Resisting or fighting against unavoidable circumstances may increase stress and hinder happiness.
How to Implement:
Recognize situations that are beyond your control and practice acceptance. You can use the Serenity prayer and ask a Higher Power to help you. The Serenity Prayer is a widely known prayer used in various 12-step programs, including Alcoholics Anonymous. Here it is: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." Focus on adapting your mindset and emotions to coexist with these aspects of life that you dislike and can’t avoid or change. For example, if you have a demanding work task that cannot be changed or avoided, accept it as part of your professional responsibilities. By acknowledging and embracing it, you can reduce stress and approach the task with a more positive attitude.
Step 5: Change Your Perspective and Attitude
The field of positive psychology, pioneered by researchers like Barbara Fredrickson, highlights the importance of cultivating a positive mindset. Changing the way you perceive challenges and adopting a more optimistic attitude can contribute to increased happiness and resilience.
How to Implement:
Practice reframing negative thoughts and focusing on the positive aspects of challenging situations. Develop a gratitude mindset to appreciate the good things in your life. Instead of dwelling on the challenges of a busy schedule, focus on the opportunities for personal and professional growth it presents.
Shifting your perspective and attitude can turn difficulties into valuable learning experiences that will help you gain more serenity and inner peace.
Incorporate these five steps into your daily routine, backed by solid scientific findings, and you'll be laying the foundation for a happier and more fulfilling life. Embrace what brings you joy, avoid unnecessary stress, make changes where possible, accept what's beyond your control, and maintain a positive outlook – these straightforward actions can lead to a happier and more content existence. Begin today, jot down a note, and give it a try. They are simple yet impactful; you might even notice a positive shift in your attitude right away.
Now that we've delved into the five steps of happiness, it's clear that they aren't just theoretical concepts – they're practical, actionable strategies rooted in scientific understanding. By understanding and implementing these steps, you're not only improving your well-being but also creating a roadmap for a happier and more fulfilling life.
So, why not start today? Jot down a note, give these steps a try, and observe the positive shift in your attitude. Remember, happiness is not a distant goal; it's a journey that begins with these intentional steps. As you welcome this idea, may you discover a newfound sense of serenity and inner peace, paving the way for a brighter and more joyful tomorrow.
Sending you all the love and light on your healing journey!
If you're curious to dive deeper into these strategies or share your thoughts, reach out to me contact. Let's make 2024 a year of unconditional love, courage and success, advancing toward your vision and goals one action at a time.
I'd love to help you get started: To assist you on this journey, I've prepared a Free workbook on 26 Ways to Release Mental & Emotional Baggage In Less Than 5 Minutes A day. Or if you like to join Baggage Be-Gone Bootcamp here the link
Wishing you a day filled with small steps towards a healthier, happier you!
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